To bun or not to bun: Eli Achtzehn and Jaiman White debate the man bun. (Photo via Wikipedia)
To bun or not to bun: Eli Achtzehn and Jaiman White debate the man bun.

Photo via Wikipedia

To bun or not to bun: Two staff writers debate the man bun

March 8, 2019

Jealousy fuels hairstyle haters

Staff+Writer+Eli+Achtzen+defends+the+esteemed+history+of+the+man+bun.

Devon Schroeder

Staff Writer Eli Achtzen defends the esteemed history of the man bun.

The idea of a man with long hair using a hair tie to wear a bun is more controversial than most political scandals today. It sometimes seems as if the resurgence of this style has created controversy and turmoil nationwide similar to that of the civil rights movement.

Curiously, criticism of the man-bun most often comes from other men rather than women, while the main goal of the man bun is to impress women — which it does.

Guys who don’t have the hair needed to pull off a man bun are the ones most likely to show contempt for those who have the ability to wear one. But even then, there is no reason for the irrational hate and criticism that is popular among the envious.

Many in their jealousy try to write the style off as a modern trend that will soon fade. To see that the bun’s conquest of male heads is not just a “fad,” one can look to the infamous Terracotta Warriors, some of the greatest conquerors in world history, who also were wielders of the man bun.

That army dates the hairstyle back to the third century — meaning that if it was a trend, it would be the longest trend in human history. This also means that disrespecting the style of men with long hair is equivalent to disrespecting all of China and its rich and vibrant history.

Also, the idea that the man bun is a feminine style that should be left for women is completely illogical. The word “man” is literally in the name. It cannot get more masculine than that.

Criticism and hate toward the man bun usually does not make much sense, and is most often rooted in jealousy. Basically, they hate us ‘cause they ain’t us.

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Man bun trend should get cut

Staff+Writer+Jaiman+White+finds+man+buns+a+ridiculous++hairstyle.+

Devon Schroeder

Staff Writer Jaiman White finds man buns a ridiculous hairstyle.

If the world’s most powerful and influential leaders came together and decided they had the chance to outlaw one hairstyle, there would be several possible targets: maybe the mohawk, maybe the bowl cut, or maybe just 6ix9ine’s rainbow monstrosity. But in the end, they would realize that the man bun would have to be the one to go.

This isn’t meant to be hateful, and this isn’t meant to take a shot at anyone. It’s just pure, hard facts: The man bun is a bad haircut.

First of all, no one meaningful can really pull off the man bun. Jason Momoa gets a slide as he’s risen up the ranks in his recent role of Aquaman, but everyone else who has a man bun is just celebrity trash trying to remain current and hip.

Anyone who spots Justin Bieber with a man bun, trying to sing “Baby,” should quickly run the other way.

Also, this look just screams “restriction.” No one wants to live life feeling restricted or held back; they want to live free to their fullest potential. Just look at all the legends who had complete disregard for the hair products of their time and just let their locks flow. People like Axl Rose, Albert Einstein, Bob Marley, Chris Hemsworth, and Pat Tillman all let their hair go, and just wore it in their own style, with little regard for the trends of the times.

When a young man goes to apply for a job, often the employers pay attention to his hair. Is it clean? Is it well kept? Is it in a trendy gumband? Gentlemen who may be reading this, understand that a world without man buns is a world that today’s children deserve to grow up in. Lose those restrictive gumbands and chop off those man buns once and for all.

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